Dear Vincent (f.a. book response)

A series of short poems written in the voice of Vincent van Gogh, 

with quotes from the book "Dear Theo". 

Old Man By The Fire (Worn Out)

Painted in 1881, staying on the Etten countryside with his parents.

“…an old, sick peasant sitting on a chair by the hearth with his head in his hands and his elbows on his knees.” 

almost a ghost

stacked elbow on golden knee, cheek

in hand.

I have known this exhaustion

never in my rusty knees

but behind my eyes.

the kettle is boiling-

it takes him a while

to notice.

The old tower at Nuenen

Painted in Nuenen, 1884.

“That God of the clergymen, He is for me as dead as a doornail. But am I an atheist for all that? The clergymen consider me as such – be it so; but I love, and how could I feel love if I did not live, and if others did not live, and then, if we live, there is something mysterious in that. Now call that God, or human nature or whatever you like, but there is something which I cannot define systematically, though it is very much alive and very real, and see, that is God, or as good as God. To believe in God for me is to feel that there is a God, not a dead one, or a stuffed one, but a living one, who with irresistible force urges us towardaimer encore; that is my opinion.”

there’s a rufuge

my mother told me to look for

before I leave again

and I found it there

under the swollen sky

watching from the fields tended

from its secret eyes

I didn’t go inside

rather avoided its eyes

said a small prayer

for mother

and for theo

dear brother

Snowy Landscape With Arles in the Background

Painted in February 1888, Arles, having left his brother in Paris just a few days earlier.

“It seems to me at times that my blood is more or less actually beginning to think of circulating, which was not the case during the last days in Paris. Honestly, I could not have stood it much longer.”

the windows were graceful

the concrete was clean

but they say hell is made of chrome

I’ve known the city

it’s filled me

like a tired womb

after it cradles it must let go

into the soft I’ve been let go

cradle me quiet shades

of tall grass and snow

after I cradle I must let go

Café Terrace on the Place du Forum, Arles, at Night

Painted in Arles, September, 1888.

“The problem of painting night scenes and effects on the spot and actually by night interests me enormously. This week I have done absolutely nothing but paint and sleep and have my meals. That means sittings of twelve hours at a stretch.”

this is where I came

to find

utopia

in splendid minds

thoughts like stars

but so far

still

only the sky

contains stars

I’ve found utopia

in the loneliest

of nights

The Starry Night

Painted in the hospital at St-Paul-de-Mausole, June 1989,

(a few months before his suicide).

“Things are going well with me. You will understand that after almost half a year now of absolute frugality in eating, drinking, smoking, with two-hour baths twice a week of late, it's evident that it should steady me a lot. So it's all going well, and as for the work, far from wearing me out, it occupies and distracts me - which I am in great need of.”

my mind is filled with silver

spider web dreams

I’m told it will pass soon enough

but it’s been this way for months

I see the stars everywhere

brother

and when I find sleep

it’s a circle wind of blue

this is work

the only solid line between

the silver and the blue

the only thing that makes me miss it all

bare hips of women

small sips of wine

your good handshake

your wife’s small neck

your voice

fair brother

and o god

o god

o god

end.