whatever happens

we climbed the hill
just outside the suburbs
to say a better
goodbye
watched the ocean
grow away
to the cascades
you say your teeth
will fall out
if you don't go

i can't help that i
become like my idols
life gets under
my nails
dressed as dirt
i want nothing more
than to get the fuck
out of this town
i talk it up
my coats get holes
in the elbows
my boots are crested
with the mountain's mud
but that's as close as i ever get
to leaving

i just watch your hair grow
longer than i've ever seen it before
i'm too scared to call it
beautiful now

the cigarette hidden
behind my back
burns down
like the house
i watched you walk into

every night
around four a.m.
to go to sleep
and dream
about your teeth falling out
into your small
careful hands