Showing posts with label journal. Show all posts
Showing posts with label journal. Show all posts

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

reflection #2 - the flask

When I wrote the Flask, it was one of those moments in writing that one wishes life could be like all the time. It was inspiration somehow falling into place at all the right times. Often, "careless of failure, I spin out things on the page" (Stafford, William; A Way of Writing, pg. 2). That's sometimes the only way to write. You find yourself a period of time to work and that's what you do; you work. You write until you create something acceptable. Maybe you don't ever arrive at anything acceptable, but at least you were working.

There are instances though, where this "work" isn't necessary. Something just happens, and all of a sudden you've created. You've pulled ideas from within who-knows-where within you, turned them into something you can - in the case of this particular subject - sing. I suppose there's been a lot going on in my life that led towards the lyrics in The Flask, even though it isn't a song that is explicitly about me. This is how I find myself somewhere between the two creative instances found in Jarrett's Personality and Artistic Creativity.  The act of writing the music for a song is a pretty conscious thing for me that I do "working freely, without any sense of being driven or compelled" (Jarrett, James L. ; Personality and Artistic Creativity , pg. 1). However, the way the words find themselves on top of that music is completely different. At times, yes, there are things I want to say about myself or someone else within the song. But most often, I am left "standing somewhat in awe of what has [appeared], as if from outer (inner?) space" (Jarrett, pg. 1). I'm writing about these figures, lives and histories that I've simply imagined.

When I wrote The Flask, the process was one of the purest that I've taken in a long time. Maybe that's why I was so satisfied with the result. Rather than writing in my room like I usually do, where there are so many distractions, I took my guitar and notebook into the backyard of my house. Though my house is small, I'm blessed to have a beautiful garden in the back. It's a quiet, private, secluded space. I sat down on the wicker bench and stayed there for two or three hours, writing and figuring everything out until the song was nearly in its absolute finished state. Obviously, this proved to be the best way for me to go about writing, at least when I know there's something inside of me burning to be on a page. It allows for no outside influence besides what my mind is telling me; whatever wants to manifest itself, from wherever it comes, it is free to do so. My "Way of Writing", has never been more meditative. I must try to write this way more often.


Monday, November 30, 2009

oh mah gawd.

This night was a good night.
















(photo by Anushka)

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

first poem for caylie




I hold her for the first time
and she cries
I'm scared
of making something
so miserable
just by holding it close
so I give her to her father
my brother

dark hair on big arms
handsome man
stares
a familiar air here
she stares up
silent, so sudden
while the room holds its breath
watching

she's always drifting
through a dream
a light just past her eyes
hardly further than her fingertips
mornings, afternoons
passing rains drip the leaves
skies of stars forget ground
this blooms like age
on the quiet lamb's ribcage
dreams soft as mother
her grace
voice of everything

in the room moves her acceptance
of all the brevity in strangers
who forget so quickly how to talk
to each other
she's asleep through the world
that shakes us

so when my father first saw her
it's said he cried hard
couldn't stand near her
the steadiness of heart under thin skin
palmed his knees to storm-warning weak
in hush tones
oh my god
oh my god
I'd forgotten
oh my god
chin shaking
he saw all his life's happiness
in her
put his thick hands to his face
before he could touch her

the whiteness of skin and new bones
made beauty seem small
to him again
habit women may be sweet hipped
but in poetics and voice of inherence
his chest curls proud at her shelter
made in his lumber arms
warmth under the weather
in his face
embarrassed smile
so he forgets rain on his toque
shuts door of car parked outside
still with tears on his shirt sleeve

like me

so sleepy in my old footsteps
I don't find time to give my brother
even a pat on the back
I'm outside his door
he tells me
it was good to see you
I say
yeah

and driving home
at night
I think of what makes
simple hearted love
so heavy

there is rain
on the windshield

I see
some of the highway
blurred in the headlights
but it all passes
so quickly
disappears
becoming dark outlines
of ghosts
behind me

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Monday, October 20, 2008

from thanksgiving morning

Entries from a series I'm beginning called Diner Drawings; observations from inside of different diners. Wherever diners. These are from Thanksgiving morning when I went to breakfast with my mom and grandpa at Kitty's Hideaway.



A brute but friendly looking man across the room. He flirted with all the waitresses. He stood at about six-five, and when he left the restaurant, he had to turn to fit his shoulders through the doorway. Standard clientele.



Mom.


from 10.12.08

building towns (a kind memory of the start)

I wrote this poem in a shack set on a grassy knoll last July...

On a rainy afternoon
last summer
I rode my bicycle to her mother's house
with flowers
wrapped in a plastic bag.
She closed the door behind me,
and in the living room
threw me a towel,
told me to get warm
while she made tea.

That night
while we fell asleep
I read her spanish poetry
she said I could never
read right;

I don't care, lady,
you know the meaning of love
in every language
and could pick it out of a dirty river
like a boom-chaser
in a gold rush
all tall cedars and firs around you
while you wade in
just above your hips
movin your fingertips
through the water
lookin for heartbeats
and I bet you know
the meanin of that too,

and with a smile
she nodded,
stretched her legs out
across my lap
and reached her small hand
towards my cheek.

I might have kissed her, then,
if I could just remember.
But here the memory
closes in on itself

though I can still feel
the rain
on the window,
her breath in my ear
and the bed sheets,
like a sleeping sadness
pulled over our shoulders.

In this moment
I am softly awake.

With my last threads
I'm weaving her a refuge
where she can lay down her love
and finally
let it rest,
not worry
about that baby crying.
I hold it carefully
and whisper,

dream sweetly,
love,
it's warm here.




It was the tongues of fire feature page poem last Thursday, made all good and good-lookin' by my good-lookin' good friend Kristy, and handed out at the door. All fancy and finished, it looked like this:



 

yasmin