Wednesday, February 8, 2012

a dying bear


the summer held him
warmly as a mother might
kept his muscles taught teeth
clean eyes focused and brilliant

then rain came
falling slowly with fir needles
from the higher boughs

the afternoons became hazes
stones in the roadside grass
chipped his teeth

in the night he either walked
or stared. after the eighth
day of rain he walked the high river
but got tired before daylight
rested in a cedar hollowed by fire
while outside the wet darkness shivered

then the snow came but no sleep
on the first night he stood in a clearing
near a dead hunter's cabin
sharp ice cracked around his lips
one eyelid frozen closed
ribs like dead sticks under his fur

he stared at the darkness on the edge
of the clearing and it closed in

he saw the ocean once when he was younger
it was the only other time
he'd ever dreamt there was a god

Monday, February 6, 2012

the dogs

on monday
i'll create something
new.
it will
devastate the living
i've been doing
as of late. my hair
smells like devil
when i wash it.
on monday
we will catch
the wind under our wings.
today is sunday.
the dark on the horizon
spreads like ants on honey
and the dogs remember
they have teeth.

what makes us humans

should I tell her the three names
from last weekend
would it help or hurt things
she likes me silent as a star
and as strong 
but I tend to break
from the weight
of feeling nothing
I say too much
the blood runs
from my nails like little roses 
dropped on the floor
it gives me away but I guess
it has to show itself somehow

mary II

i remember the smile
you gave me in class
the morning your baby 
brother died. if i told
the truth when you asked
what i've become
since you last saw me

you'd have given me 
the same smile pulled 
out of blackness like 
bodiless hairs pulled 
from old graves.

i remember the tears too
but they seem less
crippling than that smile.
we'd sit in my ford 
while the windows fogged
& i think i've cried the last
of mine but i wonder 
if they still come for you.

Friday, December 9, 2011

the weather in 2009

i'll still worry
about your mind
the landscape of stars
these days the night 
dies in silver 
no later than 4 pm

the thought of losing
everything is the sliver of moon
and the darkness of your house's 
windows when i get high and walk 
around the neighborhood after midnight

last night i dreamt you drowned 
in the silver sea 
your hair like the ink 
from a sunken red cedar
i remembered this time
not to save you

Monday, November 28, 2011

country music

outside our friend's party
my townes van zandt t-shirt 
is wet with your mascara
this will be your mother's third
divorce since she had you
i hand you a cigarette 
but forget about the lighter
so you just stand there 
with the filter in your teeth

it is 2 am
the party is still loud
the balcony is silver from frost

everything the world is ever going to give you
is going to turn out like this

Thursday, November 24, 2011

regarding your suicide (attempted)


i'll fill the hole where god was
i'll love you
give you
take you
touch your empty cheeks
your shallow skin
the bones 
that show 
around your neck
i'll kick you while you're down
 

yasmin